I decided to leave on October 1, 2024 and said a Prayer to support my drive on the 401 to Ottawa. I wore my Talliet and chanted along the Heros Highway. I packed some food for the three days away and my Shofar travelled with me. I drove mostly in silence and my navigation system was not working well. There was no voice activation. I learnt pretty quickly how to read the maps and started my Google Maps and still no voice. This was the beginning of trusting to find my way. 61/2 hours later I arrived at the Westin Hotel. Spent 100.00 on dinner, and unpacked. Reiding myself to step into Or Haneshemah Synagogue in Ottawa. A completely new experience with not knowing anyone and trusting my choice into stepping in for me.
I took a trial run out the next day with my navigation system finally working and found the synagogue. I had never been to that part of Ottawa. it required me to drive back on the highway. Wednesday erev fast approached and I stepped into this new Portal. I was welcomed with open arms. Rabbi Liz has a beautiful voice and I felt held immediately. Who travels into a city for two days to go to serviecs. ME. I needed to step outside of my comfort zone and bring myself into a new community. I was able to sit and daveen freely without questioning. I met lovely people who I shared with and brought food to contribute on Thrusdays meal. I had no idea that the Kol Haneshemahs book was different for high holidays and the theology and philosphy spoke to me. I am in the process of writing up a prayer which I will share on my blog post for High Holidays. I was gifted a beautiful song that someone had sung and I asked for her to send it to me.
I am called into this time deeply... for me... to trust what is present.
I missed my home DJC as i drove onto the 401 who does this? I don't know of anyone who would drive to another city to attend shul.
I felt filled emotionally and held as my being cracked open on many levels. I was seen and respected and most importantly I respected myself for my choices. Out beyond the ideas of right doing and wrong doing there is a field I will meet myself there. I will write out the prayer for this week before I step into Yom Kippur. I am clear on where and how I want to be now.
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