Sacred Work/Preparing for Shabbat

this past month I have been in a process of leave taking from my Synagogue. I made a committment on my meditation walk tonight to set the intention daily. Care for my being, sound the shofar for me only in preparation of the High Holidays. I am sitting in deep grief over the final loss of my frst relationship with my x partner. She offered me a way into myself that I had not known and I offered her the same back. The word love is so generalized and used so frivalisly ... it take deep listening and care, earning trust through experiences, watching the old patterns and taking care of one another so that the pain that is present is held together sacredly. I found the values that I want in a paratner as I saw myself honestly and brought my own baggage ( trucks full ) Trust, and boundaries are different for everyone we each have our own view. I have said goodbye many times only to find that our connection was so profound and compelling. Her being my first beloved Partner where at times we met one another to create safety and in that safety more trauma emerged and at times uncaringly. I carry with me an internal family of young ones Parts as it is called in the therapudic realm and I wanted to build a family for us all. I came to realize that I have to be my own family and no longer search outside of myself to create the safety within where all of me can reside in the guidance of my wise non self. I offered my heart and soul for the first time in my life to this woman who met me on many levels and I am truly and ever grateful for this opportunity to be and see what does it feel like to acknowledge bereshert,, beloved as I became and continue to become my own beloved. Claiming and reclaiming myself unconditionationally wthout the result of the shoe falling. Love is so general and it is a lot of hard work to allow the vunerability of being that is so tender that we each carry each other's hearts in our hands. May we all be held in grace and compassion together and stand as one. I step into Shabbat tonight with a tender heart.