Letting go of the Trauma

Today, in therapy i let go together with my therapist stones that represented my Trauma history and the attachments ( smaller stones ) as well as I let go of my x partner. the two others were seamless, throwing the stones high in the air and each following one another. The third stone of my x was stunted.. and the rock bounched into the weeds on the bank of the river and it rolled down the hill. i noticed somatically that my right arm was strained and my hand jerked. So interesting as I said a final good bye to her in this way. It was time . thinking that i could come home and go to a movie after a huge session, i was reminded that my body within felt tender and nausaus. so I stayed home and resourced. There is something about having a companion beside me where no shoe will ever fall, my therapist but to do this together in a kind and respectful way with all of me on side while noticing my feelings. Tonight before i ordered my dinner, i sat in my kitchen and cried deeply for the various losses and now newfound ways of being. I now understand that i never have to give myself up for anyone and it is so important that i be myself and feel the safety within. this is so connected to my weight and tonight i ate again only what my body needed and there is no hunger. I was ready to let go fully my herstory and stand steady for myself.