Feeling my Feelings and Staying in the Window of Tolerance

For three days i have lost my ability to fully eat and I know that is not wise action. And I am eating full meals and allowing my grief of so many loses to be rather than denying what is present. I know and feel my stomach is in knots and using my breath to support me, eating foods that are delicious and nourishing and making choices. In the mist of the many loses i see how complex it is to feel. I would go to that carton of ice cream as it is creamy and delicous and the ice cream would never talk back. it feels like mother's milk being held as i take a spoon and put it in my mouth and feel the calm somatically. That part is the submit part> I am working on stopping the addictive behaviour from a trauma and the abstinence/relapse cycle. In the final loss of my relationships I am sitting with curosity of the feelings I am having and trying to stay in the window ( not in trauma time) I am taking care of myself instead of looking outward to someone else. Today, i took myself for a bike ride and feltl the air ... instead of staying steeped in the belwilderment and vulnerability and allowed myself this too for time limited... I felt i have been comforting myself all day long with short spurts of sadness and allowing my feelings to be. I wonder which parts need to be brough on line so to speak so that i can let be.