I have spent the last 20 years understanding and unpacking what it means to say inside of my own choices regardless of how people feel because of what is good for me. That is dysregulating. In the regulation is dysregulation because it is a new behaviour that is being learnt for my own decision/action, rather than relying on other people to fill in the gap. My attach cry has been at the forefront in many of my friendships and previous relationships. My attach cry is an attachment modality where i have sought out solace from others rather than relying on me and soley me. i have taken the initiative to learn throughout my life what is important to me, how do i want to be treat, what is it that i am feeling as i realize that feelings are interchangable. i have spent my life outside looking towards others until I realized that i needed to create my own voice in whatever way i choose to live and once i began practicing and setting boundaries for me, my need to be cared for by someone else is not as strong. I am caring for myself without reprocautions to my choices and that is dyregulating as well and doable. someone who was once very important shared with me about feelings. i remember being told by my mother don't cry, don't be a baby and I now feel that my tears are an expression of all of my feelings. i have a right to them.