Affects of the Pandemic and learning to stay in here and Now.
I had no idea that in being mandated to stay home, to self isolate, care for myself and only go out for the essentials would lead me right back to my own history when I was a child growing up in my family of Origin. I came to a deeper understanding as i have increased my work with my therapist that I am in some way reliving my past, being internally triggered, and then moving outside of myself as the feelings emerge and feel so deeply uncomfortable. Taking the time to understand what the various triggers are that take me back to "trauma time" where flight, fight and freeze co-exists and it is a new way into relearning what is present and not move into old habits of the causes and conditions. My motis aprirendi is to move outside of myself, do more, be more, connect outwardly, and then my giving of myself becomes confusing when what i need to do is to be and stay here in the here and now in my adult self. I live with complex PTSD, not diagnosed and it has been a path to walk understanding the various parts of my selves that feel insecure, the younger places that rely on me to be "family" Unconditional love and regard for myself even in these uncertain times, watching the judgement arise and watching it arise with the kindest, gentle way of knowing. How are You coping right now in your own life, what do you make sense out of? please let me know via a comment or on facebook i would like to hear your views.